gym queen drama

I've been meeting with my friend Corey a couple times a week to lift weights for several months. It used to be so perfect when he lived at our house while dating our roommate, we could just jaunt the few blocks away to the gym. Now that they moved out I meet him at the gym close to his house since he doesn't drive. The new gym is actually much nicer; it's the parking garage company that beckons my ire.

Per my estimate, we have problems getting out of the garage at least 50% of the time. Either the machine that takes cash won't work, it may charge the unvalidated price, the arm might not lift to let you out, or like today, the machine might just eat your card. Since the garage is only run by automatons, when you have a problem you must call the humans either by pushing a button on the machine or by calling the number on your card (which you might not have since the machine is apparently starving). Today, like most days, no one answered the distress call. The difference was that I wasn't alone and had two other cars that couldn't get out either. We hemmed and hawed over how to get out for 15 minutes or so: push the arm up? big fine for breaking arms. pull a ticket and get the entrance arm to come up? must have car weight on platform. crash through the arm? bad, bad, bad.

Finally, the guy in the smallest car was fed up enough and managed to squeeze most of his auto body under the arm, pressed forward and voila! it lifted. He then backed his car onto the entrance platform and pulled a ticket so I could exit there. I quickly sped through then did the same for the lady behind me (I shouldn't mention that other cars that had filed into line behind but as they were not part of our battle, we left them). We left victorious, flipped the machines the bird, and gloated all the way home about how we beat the robots once again.

Obama extends benefits to same-sex spouses & partners of federal employees

Good news for civil rights today. President Obama just signed an executive memorandum directing all federal agencies to extend fringe benefits to gay and lesbian employees, to the extent permitted by the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA continues to constrict federal action granting FSOs in same-sex partnerships and marriages from enjoying certain benefits, such as health insurance and pension benefits.

Here's the statement from the White House.

"Last year, I issued a Presidential Memorandum that instructed the Office of Personnel Management and the Secretary of State to extend certain available benefits they had identified to gay & lesbian federal employees and their families under their respective jurisdictions. Among those benefits were long-term care insurance and expanded sick leave for civil service employees and medical care abroad, eligibility for employment at posts, cost-of-living adjustments abroad and medical evacuation for domestic partners of foreign service members.

"In that same Memorandum, I called upon the federal agencies to undertake a comprehensive review and to identify any additional benefits that could be extended to the same-sex domestic partners of Federal employees under existing law.

"That process has now concluded, and I am proud to announce that earlier today, I signed a Memorandum that requires Executive agencies to take immediate action to extend to the same-sex domestic partners of Federal employees a number of meaningful benefits, from family assistance services to hardship transfers to relocation expenses. It also requires agencies that extend any new benefits to employees' opposite-sex spouses to make those benefits available on equal terms to employees' same-sex domestic partners to the extent permitted by law.

"While this Memorandum is an important step on the path to equality, my Administration continues to be prevented by existing Federal law from providing same-sex domestic partners with the full range of benefits enjoyed by heterosexual married couples. That is why, today, I renew my call for swift passage of an important piece of legislation pending in both Houses of Congress -- the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act. This legislation, championed by Senators Joe Lieberman and Susan Collins and Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin, would extend to the same-sex domestic partners of Federal employees the full range of benefits currently enjoyed by Federal employees' opposite-sex spouses. I look forward to signing it into law."

Obama extended specified benefits to domestic partners of FSOs last year, but this effectively means that same-sex coupled FSOs will receive at least one additional benefit. The President finalized a regulation that makes same-sex partners eligible for long-term care insurance.

foreshadowing

During all the craziness of trying to get our place painted, staged, boxed up, packed away, and cleaned, I have been the fore(wo)man. This means that sometimes I have to try and communicate with folks that don't speak any English, and sometimes, like yesterday, they speak only broken Mandarin since Cantonese is their first language.

Yesterday I was woken up at 730 by our painter who wanted the lo-down on what was all left to paint at the house. I walked him through the house in my shorts and tank top and told him in my very limited Mandarin what needed to be painted and with what color. He talked a lot. He said words that I've never heard before. They he made gestures that looked like driving a car and asked me to follow him into the hallway to the elevator. I didn't have any shoes on but thought that maybe he just wanted to make sure that I had a car so that I could get the rest of the paint we needed. Instead, he led me out to the street in my bare feet to his car and gestured for me to get in. Huh? I pointed to my feet and said in Mandarin, "I am not wearing any shoes!" Later, I realized what I actually said in Mandarin was, "I don't have any SHRIMP!" He became very confused. Then he pointed at the meter and said more things that I didn't understand. What?? Oh! You need coins! No problem - I'll get them for you. I ran inside to get some more clothes and shoes on and grab the coins.

He again gestured for me to get into the car, only this time he wanted me to drive! I brought a mini bottle of paint and asked if he wanted me to take him to get more paint. Yes. Ahhhh ok, now I am getting somewhere! I begin driving us to the paint store (good thing I can drive a stick shift) and after a few blocks he begins to yell confused things at me. I say that I'm turning up here in a block. This calms him for a second until I speed up on the next road. I told him I have 10 more blocks to go and then he gets really upset and makes me pull over and hands me his phone. I call the only person I can think of: my father in law. Turns out he just wanted me to park his car in a place that isn't metered. I drove us to the garage and we giggled all the way back to the house. Thank goodness for the Chinese sense of humor.

Home is where Eva is

New song I love: Home. What does the word mean for people who live vaguely nomadic lives (e.g., FSOs)?

For me, home is always where Eva is....

(now, if only that darn security clearance can come through ;) )




One more vid just for fun:

Yee Haw!

Last weekend Cyn and I attended a rodeo in Castro Valley (her first and my third). We were there to support a friend interning for the American Cancer Society to track smokers around the arena and see if they were smoking in designated areas. Our job was basically to stand around with a clipboard and mark any deviant or suspicious activity.

We saw lots of wayward behavior and took our job very seriously.

If an old cowboy took snuff out of his overall pocket and looked like he was going to chomp down, we would say "tobacco 6 o'clock! older man, plaid cut-off flannel". If a woman was trying to enhance the enjoyment of her late morning Coors Light with a menthol we would say "prohibited smoking 2:30! 45, female, daisy dukes and wife beater". I'm pretty sure we were totally incognito and wholly appreciated as our giggling echoed throughout the valley.

Actually I felt utterly at home at the rodeo. For many years I was an avid 4-H member, owned much Western attire, and can muck out a stall quicker than you can say "yee haw". The smell of manure, the sound of country music and braying farm animals, the dust in your shoes and eyes - I love it all. I especially love the opportunity to wear my "wild thing" shirt that boasts a cartoonish horse rearing up with 'wild thing' written in glittery cursive on a bright red background. I enjoyed many comments on my shirt that day and was almost carried away into buying a matching felt cowboy hat.

Bill could extend benefits to same-sex partners

Eva and I are legally married under CA law (we were one of those lucky couples that married after the California Supreme Court decision and before the passage of Proposition 8).  We are fortunate enough to reside in San Francisco, where it's very seldom that we face any type of homophobia, and certainly never in the workplace.  All my prior employers in the public and private sector have thus far afforded the same benefits to opposite and same sex spouses/domestic partners of their employees.

Sadly, this is not true of the federal government.  One major source of concern for us when contemplating joining the FS was the disparate treatment of same-sex couples.  Before Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Obama extended specified benefits to domestic partners in 2009, same-sex partners/spouses had to be listed as Members of Household (MOH), one class below that of an Eligible Family Member (EFM).  This meant that same-sex spouses & partners of Foreign Service Officers were ineligible for diplomatic passports, use of medical facilities at overseas posts, medical and other emergency evacuation (note: pets were authorized to be evacuated in emergencies with the FSO, even if same-sex partners were not), transportation between posts, and training in security and languages.

President Obama justly issued an Executive Memorandum (not an Executive Order, meaning it could expire with his office) to recognize same-sex partners as EFMs and extend the aforementioned benefits to them.   However, due to statutory restrictions placed by the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), same-sex partners and spouses of FSOs remained precluded from qualification for a range of other benefits, including federally-provided health insurance and pension benefits.

Digger over at Life After Jerusalem  recently posted an update re: the 2009 Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act (S. 1102).  If passed, this would allow Eva to receive the same benefits that spouses of my future heterosexual colleagues would receive.  I've cut and pasted the Washington Post article below:

Senate vote on same-sex benefits 'within weeks'

The Senate could vote on a bill extending fringe benefits to the same-sex partners of gay federal employees "within weeks" and well before July 4, according to aides to Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (I-Conn.).

The Nutmeg State senator is lead sponsor of the measure, which would cost an estimated $310 million through 2020, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

That's a notable, but not terribly hefty price tag by Washington standards, and Lieberman is fine with the anticipated cost.

“This legislation would cost about two-hundredths of a percent of the federal government’s overall costs for the civilian workforce," Lieberman said Tuesday. "That is a very small price to pay for the improvements we would see in recruitment, retention, and morale. OPM has committed to provide an offset for the legislation before it is enacted, making it that much more reasonable.”

Indeed those offsets -- first requested by Lieberman and Senate Republicans in December -- aren't ready yet and won't be until Lieberman is ready to introduce the bill to the full Senate, according to an OPM spokesman.

Lieberman's bill may win some Republican votes, but a House version passed last year with no GOP support. The House bill also covers eligible federal retirees, giving it a heftier price tag that the GOP considers unacceptable.

"At a time when unemployment is at 9.9 percent, it’s absurd that Democrats would push a costly new benefit for federal employees when so many Americans in the private sector are out of work," said Frederick Hill, a spokesman for Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), the ranking Republican on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, which first approved the benefits bill. "This legislation is a good example of how this Congress and administration have neglected efforts to rein-in spending and create jobs in favor of an agenda to satisfy their political base." 

Eva's 3 rules

My lovely wife just announced the following:

If we get posted to Laos* or S.E. Asia, I am:

1. Not wearing make-up
2. Not wearing a bra
3. Swimming every day

  

Then she looked very proud of herself.

(Eva and I were talking about Laos because of an entertaining blog written by another FSO called Life on the Mekong, chronicling their experiences there.)

Cavallo Point

We hiked Cavallo Point last weekend with our good friends Rasha, Palav, and Sanjay. All three of them are medical residents at UCSF, so we're pretty lucky to spend the very little leisure time they have in their company. We basked in the sunshine and the magnificent views of San Francisco Bay, Alcatraz, Golden Gate Bridge from our vantage point @ Fort Baker. We even spotted two porpoises and several sea lions!

Even if I do end up being appointed to join the Foreign Service (fingers crossed!), leaving San Francisco will be bittersweet. It's pretty clear why people leave their hearts in our fair city. It's progressive, open-minded, culturally literate, queer-friendly, beautiful, and surrounded by vineyards/wine country, hikes, rivers, waterfalls, and views.

San Francisco will always be home to me.

Co-dependence

The sole purpose of this blog post: whining. My beautiful wife Eva (see above - can you blame me for missing this woman?) is visiting her family in Washington State for 8 days. I am one of those crazy people who hates spending time alone. I especially can't bear to be away from my one and only. Usually when she's out of town, I preoccupy myself by moving in with my folks for a few days. However, my parents happen to be in China for the month traveling and visiting my little sis in Beijing. I hardly know what to do with myself! My friends are providing me with good distractions and dinner dates, but I miss my wifey. I have no idea how married foreign service officers survive 1 year unaccompanied posts without their spouses.

US Consulate in Pakistan is Attacked

The perils of the Foreign Service life are becoming increasingly apparent.

From the New York Times: "In the most direct attack on an American facility in Pakistan in years, militants mounted a multipronged assault against the United States Consulate in this northern city on Monday, using a truck bomb, machine guns and rocket launchers, Pakistani and American officials said." The attackers failed to breach the outer perimeter of the compound. Six Pakistanis were killed and 20 wounded, but there were no Americans hurt or killed in the attack.