Cyn got us through the first 3 days of our journey cross country so I will try to bring up the rear.
Wyoming continued to be breathtakingly beautiful, Nebraska was just as boring as we thought it would be...with one small caveat. The freeways between these lovely states are 75 mph, which means we were flying along at 85 on cruise control listening to a total of 4 books on tape (David Sedaris had me in such a fit of hysterical giggles at one point that Cyn had to pause it and I nearly had to pull over for fear of crashing with the tears in my eyes obstructing my vision). We hit bugs in the multi-millions, butterflies were close behind in the thousands, but what really put a damper on our day was the bird. Cyn didn't even know we hit it since she played Hearts on the iPad pretty much the entire time I wouldn't let her drive. But I saw it coming, braced for it and said a little prayer to the universe that it wouldn't hit the windshield, and nailed it with the bumper. We heard a loud thump! I made a low groan and Cyn woke up with, "what happened? what's wrong? what was that?!" Guts and feathers were making their way over the roof of the car past the glass in front. We shivered for a few minutes then managed to forget about it for the most part.
When we arrived in Lincoln, NE we hoped that the bird had been forced by the wind to escape off the side. Figured we could even pretend that it could have possibly lived. We dared each other to go and look at the front. I went first and just prayed that there wouldn't be a smell; I knew I would throw up and we had just eaten our first decent meal in days. The bird's cadaver was glued to the front of the car and we hopped around, squealing about who was going to do what and just what in the hell to do. We decided to check in to the hotel and figure out what to do after. Here's a gruesome picture of the car:
After depositing our luggage, we returned to the car to watch a young man and his father walking past the front of our car on the sidewalk. We thought we were in the clear when the boy caught sight of the bird and leapt 2 feet into the air sideways. We covered our faces with our hands and tried to pretend that the only Prius in Nebraska wasn't ours. They watched with disgust as we climbed, with shame, into our heathen car. It may have also been amplified by the roar of giggles that we were emitting. We found an automatic car wash a couple blocks away and knew this was the jackpot. Bugs, butterflies and birds no more! We bit our nails in anticipation of sounds, feathers and blood but got off pretty easy with just some feathers flung onto the windshield by the automatic spinners. Once complete, we fought again about who was going to have to look. Of course it was me and of course it was still there only now it was a wet bird that remained stuck to the car. This time however, a group of Hells Angels was able to witness the shrieking and jumping around. We hurried back into the death mobile and searched for what to do next. The only logical thing to do would be to find a tire pump and use the compressed air to push the bird out of the grill. I did this as well (theme?). Luckily, the bird had been dislodged a little bit after the car wash and the drive over and with a little air pressure and a slow, deliberate nudge, the bird fell free of it's snare to the tune of my guttural moan that was probably heard in the next town. We did the only thing we could do after this: jumped into the car before anyone saw, squawked and howled, and went and ate Chinese food.
Wyoming continued to be breathtakingly beautiful, Nebraska was just as boring as we thought it would be...with one small caveat. The freeways between these lovely states are 75 mph, which means we were flying along at 85 on cruise control listening to a total of 4 books on tape (David Sedaris had me in such a fit of hysterical giggles at one point that Cyn had to pause it and I nearly had to pull over for fear of crashing with the tears in my eyes obstructing my vision). We hit bugs in the multi-millions, butterflies were close behind in the thousands, but what really put a damper on our day was the bird. Cyn didn't even know we hit it since she played Hearts on the iPad pretty much the entire time I wouldn't let her drive. But I saw it coming, braced for it and said a little prayer to the universe that it wouldn't hit the windshield, and nailed it with the bumper. We heard a loud thump! I made a low groan and Cyn woke up with, "what happened? what's wrong? what was that?!" Guts and feathers were making their way over the roof of the car past the glass in front. We shivered for a few minutes then managed to forget about it for the most part.
When we arrived in Lincoln, NE we hoped that the bird had been forced by the wind to escape off the side. Figured we could even pretend that it could have possibly lived. We dared each other to go and look at the front. I went first and just prayed that there wouldn't be a smell; I knew I would throw up and we had just eaten our first decent meal in days. The bird's cadaver was glued to the front of the car and we hopped around, squealing about who was going to do what and just what in the hell to do. We decided to check in to the hotel and figure out what to do after. Here's a gruesome picture of the car:
After depositing our luggage, we returned to the car to watch a young man and his father walking past the front of our car on the sidewalk. We thought we were in the clear when the boy caught sight of the bird and leapt 2 feet into the air sideways. We covered our faces with our hands and tried to pretend that the only Prius in Nebraska wasn't ours. They watched with disgust as we climbed, with shame, into our heathen car. It may have also been amplified by the roar of giggles that we were emitting. We found an automatic car wash a couple blocks away and knew this was the jackpot. Bugs, butterflies and birds no more! We bit our nails in anticipation of sounds, feathers and blood but got off pretty easy with just some feathers flung onto the windshield by the automatic spinners. Once complete, we fought again about who was going to have to look. Of course it was me and of course it was still there only now it was a wet bird that remained stuck to the car. This time however, a group of Hells Angels was able to witness the shrieking and jumping around. We hurried back into the death mobile and searched for what to do next. The only logical thing to do would be to find a tire pump and use the compressed air to push the bird out of the grill. I did this as well (theme?). Luckily, the bird had been dislodged a little bit after the car wash and the drive over and with a little air pressure and a slow, deliberate nudge, the bird fell free of it's snare to the tune of my guttural moan that was probably heard in the next town. We did the only thing we could do after this: jumped into the car before anyone saw, squawked and howled, and went and ate Chinese food.
3 comments:
I was laughing out loud at this bird extraction fiasco. So funny! But not for the bird, I suppose.
omg, that cadaver is intense - and this post is hilarious!
Yikes!!! that was the funniest story ever and I am so glad that you included a pic!
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